مِن بِلَاد الفرنجة

unleash a monster or die slowly

Forgiven

I can’t
I just can’t
All of a sudden
Another photo of you
Your smile again
I can’t
I just can’t
Your eyes
What happened
It was unreal
I can’t
I just can’t
Tormenting me
Every day
I’m still crying
I can’t
I just can’t
Maybe it’s time
To let go
Of everything
I can’t
I just can’t
Keep thinking of you
That awful way
Without closure
I can’t
I just can’t
Fall in love again
I don’t want to
This is it for me
I forgive you.

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My brain is itching and I can’t stop thinking. It’s freaking 5 am, I should be asleep. Instead, it’s all memories and tears. Why now? It’s almost a year! Why didn’t I forget? Why, God, why?

Pretty Short Wimp

A picture with a smile
Sitting here depressed
I TRUSTED YOU
Coward!!

I’m tearing
I’m angry at myself
I’m taking medicines
Because of you

Apparently, you forgot
Every letter in a letter you sent
Every time I made you laugh
Every rhyme in a poem I wrote

How can you be?
That happy!
How can you be?
A Liar

Maybe I was right
Maybe I was wrong
Maybe I believed in you
Maybe you didn’t

I don’t hate you
I’m not a monster
Like you
Maybe, that was the problem

It’s just that I can’t forget you
Implausible right?
I mean you hurt me
But I can’t see anyone else

Why God Why?
After all of this
I got so tired
I’m not trying again

I wish I could just disappear
You know?
I still can’t believe you
Or what you did to me

I can’t do anything anymore
It’s like I’m finished
You made me miserable
You ruined me

I’m smarter than this
I should have known
All I need is a closure
I can’t live like this

The moon is a lie
“Come for me” is a lie
“I promise” is a lie
“I love you” is a lie

Standing before God
I did nothing wrong
I showed up as promised
I want justice

I wanna fall free
Into nothing
Not you, nothing
Definitely, not you

 

 

Dreams And Nightmares

Dear friend,

Hi! How have you been? I didn’t hear from you for a while, I hope you’re doing just fine.
Last night I had a dream which almost turned to be a nightmare at the end but I saved the day. I’m not going to mention details about the latter because it was weird and you know, Murphy’s law, which is still not so scientific but what do we know? You still can ask me about it someday, if you want to.
It began when I found myself in this place and I don’t know how I got to but then it was like someone just turned on the lights on a very particular seat located on a stage in some kind of a theater, where I then saw the girl I love sitting and looking at me while smiling and what weirder was that she was even more beautiful than she is in real life, can you believe that? The one I told you about, how can that be possible? Oh, I forgot, it’s just a dream.
That’s all I can remember of it, ignoring the incidents that happened after that, for me, just meeting her again, it was a happy one.
I wanna tell you about what I think of why or how people fall in love.
First, let’s start with how? I mean we all know it’s all about physics. From a classical point of view, electric impulses are carried by our neurons from and to our brains through a few chemical reactions, but what is the stimulus to these impulses? is it external or is it only our amygdala messing around with our feelings?
I think it’s just photons with a wavelength in the range of 400–700 nm. Again, it’s all about physics, you see, everything we see, everything we interact with, is all affected by light. Let’s take plants as an example, a rose looks red when its petals absorb all photons except red’s with the lowest energy which they reflect. When there isn’t any light with this frequency that reaches this rose, it will look, smell, and feel different to us, we might even give it another name. This is exactly what happens to you when you start to fall in love, that and some psychological and hormonal interactions in your body. A sunrise, a rainy day, the eye of your love, or a shiny smile; the feelings they inspire happen when something inside you is triggered by a particular variation in the frequency and by extension the energy of those photons.
Now, why? You know better than me that love isn’t a choice, but if it’s something it’s a decision.
You decide to give someone a chance to know everything about you, share stories and dreams and break the walls you’ve been building around yourself for years. Without this decision, you will never know if something happened.

Goodnight,
Yours,
Someone who wasn’t afraid to make a decision.

 

يوم ممطر

البارحة على الطريق

على دراجتي مسرعًا

غيوم في السماء تمطر

ليست الثياب المناسبة

الجو جميل

الرياح عاتية

الشوارع في ازدحام

غريب

انزلاقات خفيفة

نغمات المدينة في أذني

قد أتأخر

الحجة: المطر

مشوار مهم

للوطن

لست بهيكتور

ولا أبحث عن السعادة

مبكرًا مبللًا

في الطريق عائدًا

منزل خاوي

الطريق الجانبي بدلًا من الرصيف

الوقت مبطئ

قطرات الماء على وجهي 

تذكّرني

تزيدني فرحًا

أترى يا تشارلي؟

الحرية

بداية الأغنية

أسرع أكثر

قرار 

من الطريق للرصيف

لا أحد حولي

الوقت يزيد بطءً

ربما فقط العجلة والنسبية

بضعة ميلليمترات 

اصطدام 

تحليق

وجهًا في الفضاء

حادث وسقوط

دقيقتان أو أكثر

أين أنت؟

أين ذهب الناس؟ 

الدراجة على جانبها

مستلقية

ألم

يدان وخدوش

كدمة على الركبة

المطر مازال يهطل

لا يكترث

وحيدًا في المحيط

عودة 

Dear friend,

I dreamt of you last night.

P.S. Don’t worry, this time it was a funny one.

Sincerely,