Now I Lay me

by muhammad ayman

For a whole day I’ve been thinking and asking in which language should I write this destitute blog , should I write it as usual in my mother language ,in my second language which I used in my last confessional blog but I had lost many vocabulary of it last 5 months and also maybe the sense of it or my third one ( or I can count it as the second one now ) which I must practise more and more to enrich my words , idioms and expressions . But here I am writing in a language that is the most common on the earth so that maybe every one would understand what runs in my mind currently .Through the darkness where I immediately sit I feel myself so sagacious and not terrified to be alone, but because I used to use my dark time which I consider as the most precious one ( don’t have any relation to the batman ) , I began to write this one and change the idiotic “out of light schedule” when I tend to read , sleep , sleep , sleep or meditate . I really don’t have a particular subject to talk about but let’s change the mood and discover things about me …..
-I do love my nickname which only my family and two of my close friends call me with , and I also find my real first name better but I don’t like to be called with my father’s or my grandfather’s names .. I don’t know why , but I am sure of it .
– Today I discovered that I have a spectacular mind , why or how ?
I just know it
( or I just can’t mention it )
– after I got back from my course I logged in Facebook to see how it was and I thought I would be depressed by the dazzling posts but actually I didn’t at all because I found most of my friends playing a role or nominating game for movies , songs and books . Yes , I found some of my friends like books too … And Yes , I know that maybe these books are feeble books but I got highly impressed by knowing not a few number of people who read .
I didn’t get sad because no one nominated me because as usual I don’t care of these games or even no one cares but I mentioned it because I remembered that scene when Jean-Baptiste Grenouille poured that perfume on himself at the end the novel and waited people to finish him and die , and I kept laughing and laughing so hard then I logged out .
– I find myself so humorous even when others don’t , in addition to that I say jokes and laugh without waiting anyone to laugh .
-my birthday is in 5 days .
– I want to visit the Milky Way one day .
-I am blue again .
– I love her , I assure that again ..

There are few things that you have and like but you don’t share with others , meditate and try to find these things because this is the real you !

And now I lay me