Nothing

by muhammad ayman

Oh , I remember those

Days and nights
Looks and smiles
Laughter and shouts

Oh ,I remember my drawings and every single drop of the colored ink on this clean white paper

This town with its
high pale green trees ,
long blue river at twilight ,
and far faraway mountains peaks .

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this girl and her
words,
hair,
verdant color ,
smell .

wait ! I said wait ! you can’t state !
Never mind !

I really liked drawing but I hated painting as well .

Oh , I remember that my hair has never waved
and I mean never !
so ?
It has become almost a small ship in a tremendously raging sea since I knew her !
and It never stopped shining except when…..
you already know.

I tried to speak to you, but found no words. So I chose silence. Yet you understood. You always understand.Or you should !

I remember that I would not like to write or publish this blog
I don’t why,
I really don’t.

Oh, I remember this crazy and lonely letter I had written when I was 14
Yeah , it was the first and the last….No Not Yet !
I wrote it in two languages and put it in my friend’s bag to see it later because I was as shy as I am now .

Oh,I remember that it has just came into my mind how strange is that maybe stalking someone’s posts or tweets would actually make you feel that he is you , you are him and both of you are me ! extraordinary !

Oh I remember when Mozart was the first and Beethoven and Strauß came second but now I’m confused between Berstein and Stravinesky !
When the nutcracker used to make me smile even while I was crying .
When the Simpsons and the Blackadder used to make me cry out of joy and laughing !

That’s why I still think that my nickname came from changing my mood in no time !
Loneliness is good……Loneliness is bad

Oh , I remember that until now I can’t describe or define love because I’ve never been in love with someone
Except that one who can’t stop provoking into my dreams
when I wondered :
Can I be in love with someone without telling him
Can I love someone and we don’t date , chat , or even talk
Can I ?

Oh, I still remember her I can’t deny
but I don’t want to forget her because when I do I won’t .

I have to forget that I wanted to forget . I think !

a terribly hard thing but not impossible .

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Oh, I almost forgot !
nearly 3 weeks ago I and my friend went to the opera house
and I can’t tell you how AWESOME it was !
Beethoven’s 8th and 9th symphonies…….I almost went somewhere else when I was just setting behind my friend .

Also ,
can you smell the leaves of grass , the pure frozen water or a poem when you see someone ?
well, I can !
Whenever I see her I smell this town , this river and I hear someone’s voice reading “song of myself “ by Walt Whitman , so I breathe and live !

Then I remembered nothing ,
And I remembered it very well .
Oh no !
Oh no , I don’t remember it’s just my vivid imagination !

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